First ImpreSSion .... Is d BEst oR wOrST!!!...

Well.....its my very first blog....never ever imagined myself to start blogging...u see i lag or rather have a natural tendency to lag in everything....but i "dare" do things i thnik wud never do sometimes....guess this is one such "moment"....so here is the blog...that too at 3 o' clock in night....I blame my new "ALMA MATER" for that...i have nothing against my college...i love being a part of it....it has been the best thing that has happened to me in my "tiny" n "insignificant" life.....But ....U forget abt sleeping early n getting "early" or thngs like dat...as a friend so truly pointed out...."night=day in IIITB"....

So...Why i started blogging suddenly....I felt it wud gv me a nice opportunity to xpress myself...as i dont interact with others much...I m tooo short of words sometimes....n of course bore others... :) .... not always....May be mite publish somethng worth reading sum time dat mite help others....

Well.... Here is what i felt like writing in dis very first blog....

Its weird but....here is it....U meet, talk n interact with many ppl whom u never knew before.....u forget many...but u remember some....their faces...expressions or words keep appearing in portal of your mind...invisible to others.....Somehow u try hard n harder.....bt u cud never shake them off....So How it began exactly...Decided to go on a visit to a care home for mentally challenged kids as a part of social activity for our college..Happened to meet a girl of about 16...She didn look her age...looked younger than that...We all live in a world defined by conventions set up by so called society....Our thought process is largly driven n dominated by the conventions....we dare not think beyond that....For us, "good" is what has predefined attributes n notions ... "bad" n "ugly"... who decides to what exactly these terms apply to??? Or are they just a way to take out frustations...demeaning others existence ... Hiding own's complications n faults....their is nothing in d world as bad n good...they r conventions which r taught the moment a child is born...Dicto for terms like "normal" , "abnormal","dirty","civilized" etc. etc. .... Do not think i m going out of context....this is all relevant....well....the girl didn know wht are the societal conventions....was not aware of "economy"... being "rich" or "poor"..."good" or "bad" ....etc. ... I was amazed by her everlasting enthusiasm n energy...The moment I met her.....till we left....She was trying to get others involved in her activities which were largely restricted to clapping...chanting some rhymes , singing n dancing ...(again "unconventionally") ... in short she felt "happy" n wanted others to share her innocent joy.....how selfless..!!! It touched me to the core...Her world is not dominated by normal conventions....unlike us...Making others "happy"matter to us usually when we expect something frm dat person...Strictly speaking "worldly favours" which include nything n everythng....May b god didn make her like what others wud "conventionally"call a "normal" human being....But her world is full of "boundless" joy n unrestricetd happiness...Her eyes were full of innocence...I was glad she was so well taken care of....I didn see her sitting "idle" or nything...sHE Wanted to make d best out of every minute spent with us...

Now how really is that pricking me now.......I always curse my fate....Feel like a big "loser" n "crap" always....my world is restricted by my own conventions which m sure would never disclose to others....I am poor in expressing myself....Well...I have tendencies to lose hope n faith every next minute...Even now....Suddenly her face pops up somewhere in my (un)conscious mind...I see her enthusiasm,,,,eyes full of hopes ..... shining with tears of happiness..n then i curse myself badly....for "cursing" myself....there is much more to life than the "conventions" .....
I dont know how long i will continue to exist....But will never be able to forget dat face....Will try never to blame god for things happening to me...because "happiness" n "joy" are what we should derive out of each single moment.....may b the thing that will haunt me...is that why she was separated frm her parents n family she deserved.....Was she left just because she didn fit into template of the "conventions".... Wish this world could turn upside down god!!!